BigStar

over 2 years ago

Jennifer Aniston Has A New Man (Maybe) (Dlisted)

Jennifer Aniston has told Gerard Butler's fingers to find another culo to poke for now, because apparently she found herself a new piece to keep her nalgas warm at night. Jennifer has taped a picture of Jason Sudeikis' (of SNL and 30 Rock) face on her cardboard groom in her secret wedding chapel room, because according to Grazia (via Showbiz Spy) she's been on a few dates with him. Jennifer and Jason first met on the set of The Bounty Hunter, but he was married and she had Gerard's finger up her no-no at the time, so they kept it platonic. But Jason is divorced now so he's aaaaaall Aniston's.

A source says, “When Jen found out he was going through a break-up late last year, she made the effort to invite Jason over for dinner in case he was feeling lonely or down. They talked for hours and really opened up to each other. After a while, Jen realized she missed him in-between dates. She finds him hilarious. He is just what Jen needs — a solid, low key, funny man. It’s early days, but she’s quietly thrilled.”

Quietly Thrilled?! Tell that to her cats and Precious Moments figurines (yes, they can hear everything). They can't sleep worth shit because all Jen does all day is loudly hum the wedding song while sending pictures of her and Jason to Maddox with the text, "SUCK ON THIS!" Maddox texts back "haha i paid him 2 pretend 2 like u haa" which makes Jen punch one of her Hummel kids in the head. And then Maddox texts her a second time with "jk" before they do it all again. Yes, they do that all day.